I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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