Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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