Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
