I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She's not a foreskin expert like you
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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