all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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