P.S. I can't hear my feet
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
