maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
my shit smells like andre
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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