The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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