party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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