so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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