I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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