she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
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he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
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Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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