You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
