I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
