hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
