I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
