I must be too annoying 4 u.
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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