I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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