He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
