I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
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