I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
