Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I can't turn off my feet"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
