some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
