i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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