All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
