Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
