I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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