your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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