No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
