Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.