Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
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This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.