Soap is not a condiment
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.