i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
