NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She told me I should be a condom model.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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