We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
