a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
