Farmville is her only friend.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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