I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
