I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
