Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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