dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
