very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
