...so i touched it.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
