if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
