FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
