I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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