I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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