If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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