Having a random hookup so left but love u
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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