I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
