I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
