i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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