1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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