Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
