dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
