I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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