god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
